I'm a tribal episcopalian, a costume hobbyist, and an organizer of things. This is the place where I ponder what that means.
13 July 2019
The earliest appointment was several weeks out; so, by the time I was actually seen it had been four months since the initial injury.
Now, throughout this time, I was able to do everything I wanted to. The pain was very minor, if annoying. I could still lift heavy things, knit for extended periods of time, and do all of my normal actives without having to take pain medication. So part of me wondered if I was wasting the physical therapists time.
During my appointment, the therapist assessed my relative arm strength and movement and told me what she discovered. Even thought I hadn't felt like there had been any impact in my strength and mobility. She, from her perspective, could see several physical signs of injury. I had both more limited mobility and more restricted range of motion in my injured arm than in my healthy arm.
I was honestly surprised.
The main reason I had followed up with the doctor and therapist about the injury was because I have had friends who have suffered permanent damage to joints because they didn't get help early on after an injury. Either due to lack of insurance, or because their doctors didn't take their complaint seriously at the time.
I was glad I had followed up. It was apparently the type of injury that could lead to long term issues. By dealing with it promptly the therapist said she was very optimistic that the injury would heal if I kept up on the exercises she prescribed.
This got me thinking about how important help and support can be in life in general. Even though I could tell I was injured, it took consulting with professionals to help truly assess the scope of the injury. I couldn't do it alone, even though I was the one feeling the pain.
Getting help early in the process may have saved me from needing much more extensive intervention later. Getting help before new, bad, habits had locked in place is allowing me to treat the problem with simple exercise. Getting help from an experienced practitioner allowed me to piggyback on their training and life experience and learn a lot in a very short time.
I think our culture can encourage 'going it alone' more than is healthy. Not only are there are many things that we can't solve on our own, there are things we can't even correctly diagnose on our own.
Help at the right time can prevent catastrophic.
Help from the right person can pin-point a problem.
Help of the right type can provide healing.
Requests for help are spread throughout the Book of Common Prayer. Sometimes we ask for direct help for ourselves, sometimes we ask for strength to help others. Help is shown as merciful and joyful. It can be a shield protecting us, or it can embolden us to fight for others.
Help is powerful.
01 July 2019
Death in Life
15 June 2019
18 May 2019
Permission to Rest
13 May 2019
Looking for Joy
Love righteousness, you rulers of the earth,
think of the Lord in goodness
and seek him with sincerity of heart;
or bring on destruction by the works of your hands;
because God did not make death,
and he does not delight in the death of the living.
For he created all things so that they might exist;
the generative forces of the world are wholesome,
and there is no destructive poison in them,
and the dominion of Hades is not on earth.
04 May 2019
Adventures in Phở
20 April 2019
15 April 2019
but you are making it a den of robbers.”
you have prepared praise for yourself’?”
06 April 2019
Scarves for All Seasons
23 March 2019
Get on my knees to…
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!
For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also.
The sea is his, for he made it, and the dry land, which his hands have formed.
let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture,
and the sheep of his hand.
16 March 2019
09 March 2019
18 February 2019
Walking the Walk
I was watching the Netfilx show Tidying Up based on Marie Kondo's books and saw a section on working with kids to go through toys and it reminded me of lessons I learned from working with my daughter on cleaning her room when she was little.
1. If she went through her toys, books and stuffed animals and wanted to get rid of something that I was attached to, then I had to own that attachment and move the item to my space instead of requiring her to keep it when she was ready to let it go.
2. It was always unpredictable what she would keep and what she would want to get rid of and I needed to learn not to assume that what I thought she would value was what she would value. It was important to let go of my preconceptions and let her process and choices stand on their own.
3. (and an over-arching theme of the first two) I had to let go of my own ego when it got in the way of her process. Even at a young age, she knew if she was ready to let something go. Any time I second guessed her I risked undermining her developing clear ideas of how she wanted her space and what was important to her. She knew, and her choices were right for her.
In short, I had to learn to walk my own talk. I wanted her to learn how to clean up after herself, how to maintain her own space, and how to manage her possessions in a way that served her.
I came to the task of teaching her with preconceived notions of what she would want to keep based on my own experiences and my own emotional needs. I ended up learning a lot more than I ever taught.
In one of today's lessons from the Daily Office Lectionary we have a reading from John:
Now by this we may be sure that we know him, if we obey his commandments. Whoever says, “I have come to know him,” but does not obey his commandments, is a liar, and in such a person the truth does not exist; but whoever obeys his word, truly in this person the love of God has reached perfection. By this we may be sure that we are in him: whoever says, “I abide in him,” ought to walk just as he walked.
~1 John 1:3-11
It is difficult to walk my talk at times. I may think that I want to bring my daughter up to be independent, to be able to make her own decisions; but in that moment, when she was little, it was very hard to realize that if I really wanted to teach her those lessons I would have to let go of my own ego, my own idea of the Right Way to clean, or to live.
If I sabotaged her process by telling her that she had to keep a certain book or toy, then I would be crippling the very independence I hoped to foster.
That was a very hard lesson to learn.
So, in today's reading we have a simple instruction: look for people who walk their talk when it comes to following in Jesus's footsteps.
I would say that the process of learning to have one's ideals match one's actions is lifelong. It's very easy to think about living into the words and life of Jesus and a lot harder to actually do the work to make it happen.
As a kid, I used to wonder why we said the confession of sins every week. How much trouble could I get into in one week? I tried to be a nice person and not be actively mean to anyone, why would I need to confess?
As an adult I realized that the ritual of confession does more than wipe my slate clean for the week. It, and the entire communion service, serve to remind us of the things Jesus asks us to do in our daily life. The process of reading the lessons, saying the prayers, making confession, and celebrating the eucharist brings us back to the essentials and reminds us of the fundamental relationship between us and God.
Learning to live into the ideals that Jesus gave us, is like me trying to teach my daughter how to clean and maintain her space. We come to it with preconceived notions, with our own egos, with the desire to be right.
Letting go of all of our egos and expectations is an on-going process. Having a ritual that reminds us of the ideals we are trying to manifest in our lives can help us more consistently walk in the footsteps of Jesus and learn the lessons he tried to teach while he was on earth.
If we have drifted away from the two great commandments, if our work out in the world has ground us down, then coming to church or engaging in deliberate ritual of prayer can be a touchstone, a way to reset our relationship with God and the world.
It acts a reminder that our goal is to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, to walk his walk.------------
Bible citations are from Bible Gateway using the NRSV text.
09 February 2019
Who Gathers the Outcasts
Thus says the Lord: Maintain justice, and do what is right,for soon my salvation will come, and my deliverance be revealed.Happy is the mortal who does this, the one who holds it fast,who keeps the sabbath, not profaning it, and refrains from doing any evil.Do not let the foreigner joined to the Lord say, "The Lord will surely separate me from his people";and do not let the eunuch say, "I am just a dry tree."For thus says the Lord:To the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant,I will give, in my house and within my walls, a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters;I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.And the foreigners who join themselves to the Lord, to minister to him, to love the name of the Lord,
and to be his servants,all who keep the sabbath, and do not profane it, and hold fast my covenant—these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer;their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar;for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.Thus says the Lord God, who gathers the outcasts of Israel,I will gather others to them besides those already gathered.
~Isaiah 56: 1-8