Change we can start now

When abusers violate consent, the burden should fall on them. Women carry a huge burden in that we are expected to restrict our lives in order to 'protect' ourselves in ways that men are not. We need to raise the next generation of women to say no to living in fear and restricting their lives. We need to teach them from day one that anyone who violates their consent is responsible for that behavior. Women as a group have been silenced and shamed by the actions of men who have treated them as props rather than people. The burden of shame and guilt currently falls on the survivor rather than on the abuser. That has got to change. We may not ever stop sexual assault but we can stop, as a culture, accepting 'boys with be boys', giving males (especially wealthy, white males) a pass when they abuse. We can start believing survivors when they tell their stories. We can press for rules that make it more likely that abuse that is reported gets investigated. We can make sure that laws actually cover all forms of sexual assault. There is a lot we can do to curb sexual assault and pretty much none of it is: make potential victims live in fear that this might happen to them and that it is their fault if it does.