Joyful Choice

I was reading an article that came across my twitter feed. It was Ramadan Etiquette Guide: How to be a Non-Muslim During the Holy Month by Asma Uddin.

As I was reading it what struck me most was the author's continual return to the idea that while the process of fasting for Ramadan was not fun, it was something she accepted with joy as a celebration of her faith.

Throughout it all, we maintain an ambiance of joy and gratitude for all that God has blessed us with, and reflect on those in this world who have been given much less.

This resonated with me because I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a person of faith and to take on disciplines, vows, and rules as a part of ones religion.
So much of what I see in the news about religion is a conflict that comes out of the idea that people of faith can somehow expect others, not of their faith, to adapt society's norms to them. Nearly every conservative branch of every faith I have been exposed to seems to want to prescribe 'one right way' of living on issues, and in particular issues that control how women act and dress and live.

It has gotten to the point that when I see a woman of any faith dressing in a way that reflects that faith I wonder at who's behest she is doing it. Is it her own personal choice, a way to demonstrate her faith to herself and to the world? Or is it forced on her by her family, her culture, or her society? (and am I falling into the trap of policing what other women wear in the process of thinking about this?)

Is she embracing it joyfully or is it a job given to her by others?

What happens to a religion when it becomes a job we are loaded down with rather than a joyful choice to be embraced? How can I tell the difference?

I think that Ms Uddin's essay shows me a way and that way is through joy.

While I was hunting up the readings for this week, I got a little lost in the daily office and ended up reading the propers for year one instead of year two, but that wrong turn led me to this:

I wish you would bear with me in a little foolishness. Do bear with me!
And why? Because I do not love you? God knows I do!
I repeat, let no one think me foolish; but even if you do, accept me as a fool, so that I too may boast a little. (What I am saying I say not with the Lord's authority but as a fool, in this boastful confidence; since many boast of worldly things, I too will boast.) ~2 Cor. 11:1, 11, 16-18

and this

And there was a man named Zacchae′us; he was a chief tax collector, and rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not, on account of the crowd, because he was small of stature. So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was to pass that way. And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchae′us, make haste and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” So he made haste and came down, and received him joyfully.
~Luke 19:2-6

I don't know how it was in Zacchae′us's time but in mine, a grown man climbing a tree is not a usual sight-- in fact a golfer made the news because he climbed a tree to take a shot in a tournament.

As with Zacchae′us was willing to look foolish in front of his peers (and the golf-watching world) in order get what he needed and it was his choice to do so. No one told either of them to climb the tree in order to reach salvation. Looking potentially foolish was not an assignment they were give or a rule society told them they must follow.

People of many different faiths hold to different dietary rules, wear clothes that stand out in modern society, or take vows that set them apart in some way and frankly can make one look foolish in the eyes of the world. And they are sometimes then tempted to push those rules onto others for many reasons. But this is where religions can go wrong.

Holy foolishness should never be a job you are given. It is too heavy a burden to bear when it a received job.

But when it is a choice?

Maybe that is what Jesus meant when he said:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
~Matthew 11: 28-30

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All bible quotes are from either the NRSV or RSV text at Bible Gateway

This essay was originally published at The Episcopal Cafe: Speaking to the Soul on June 7, 2016

The Path of Your Feet

Take heed to the path of your feet,
then all your ways will be sure.
~Proverbs 4:26

There is a lot of good advice in the reading from Proverbs from the Daily Office, and while I am not certain that I followed the instructions in the Book of Common Prayer for finding Tuesday's readings (these are from Year 2: Proper 2 Week of the Sunday closest to May 18) I am glad to have stumbled upon this passage.

I am definitely guilty of having not 'taken heed to the path of my feet.' When I was six years old, I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and broke my left arm. I'm certain that nearly every person has a story from their life where their attention was distracted and they ran into, fell over, or fell off of something. Being rather clumsier than average, I have a long litany of inattention injuries.

As I have gotten older, and it has taken me longer and longer to recover from accidents I have become much more interested in prevention.

How do I keep from getting hurt in the first place?

My reflexive response to injury is to become passive. To stop doing anything for fear of re-injury. However, I have discovered, again through aging, that staying still for fear of injury can cause damage in and of itself. Muscle mass fades, joints freeze up and range of motion vanishes, leaving me in worse shape than before the accident.

Last year I went to a physical therapist for recurring back injuries. She checked various things and walked me through some basic exercises. My back was hurting the day I went in and I was very hesitant to try anything. She was patient and supportive and I was shocked to discover how well I could move after working (carefully) through the motions with her. Even better she gave me advice on how to prevent further injury which has been incredibly effective. Now I only wish I had talked to my doctor and gotten a physical therapy consultation years ago instead of just suffering through.

Keep hold of instruction, do not let go;
guard her, for she is your life.
~Proverbs 4:13

I have received instruction and I guard it. I have learned that a little of the right movement is better than too much stillness. I have learned not to wait out my pain and suffer in silence. I have learned that too little action is as damaging as too much. Most of all I have learned to take heed and listen to my pain but not to wallow in it or let it become the center of my life.

All that is true of my physical body is true of my spiritual self. Stewing in injury and outrage or becoming passive in the face of pain do not lead to healing or revelation. Daily exercise of mind and spirit are just as important as that of the body and we are seeing more and more research that shows that physical exercise helps the mind and spirit and mental exercise helps the body. As my housemate recently said: 'I don't know if I am dancing more because I feel better, or if I feel better because I am dancing more.'

Find your sure path, take heed of your feet and see where they take you.

Getting it Wrong

One thing both the old and new testament share is the idea that god is constantly calling the people back into relationship.

In the Old Testament we have several examples of the people not only falling away from their relationship with god, but becoming whiny and entitled and complaining about things that they used to be thankful to have.

Today's Old Testament reading is one of those moments-- only this time god is fed up and sends serpents in to bite the people.

I have a hard time with this story on a literal level. It is difficult for me to believe that an all-knowing god would think that poisoning the people would bring about the attitude change god desired.

However, on a human level, I can understand the impulse represented in this story. I know I've at least day-dreamed about showing someone who was being (to my mind) whiny and entitled what a really bad day looks like. Sometimes when I hurt all I want to do is hit back at the world.

It helps me understand this story if I think of those times. The times when anger-- especially anger at someone I deeply love-- blinded me to the long term consequences of my actions. For in this story, god gains short-term control over the people. He has Moses make a poisonous serpent and set it on a pole and says that everyone that looks at it will survive the poison and live and they do.

I say short-term control because just a few chapters later in Numbers the people drift away again into the worship of other gods. They feast and worship and lose interest in their relationship with their god.

God feels this loss even more keenly and things get messy in a very Old Testament way quickly. I can't help but think that it is in part because the people were wondering if they really could trust a god who would poison them to make a point.

We all do rash things from time to time. We are imperfect, limited beings. We are carried along in the stream of time and anything from fear of loss to exhaustion to growing pains can cause even saints (maybe especially saints?) to lash out.

This story shows me that giving in to that impulse to share pain by inflicting it damages relationships and it damages me. It destroys the trust needed in deep relationships. That is even more true when the power in the relationship is unbalanced. God to people, parent to child, boss to worker-- if I have the power and I use it to strike out at those who depend on me then I shouldn't be surprised if they wander off and find more fulfilling relationships, or at least more interesting idols.

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Bible references are from the NRSV on Bible Gateway.

Another Shamelss Plug

I made another blog.  I've been cooking and baking a lot recently and decided to collect my recipes in one place where I could share them easily.  I'm an economic vegetarian and housemate is an ethical vegetarian but I eat can't onion, garlic, tomatoes, or most beans so I thought it might be helpful to folks with similar issues if I posted the recipes we've come up with over the years.

The blog is called Ceramic Episcopalian Cooks and I'm excited to share my recipes with others and have them handy when I travel. I've put a copy of the link in my links list.

Right now there are only a few recipes up, but I hope to keep adding from my backlog as well as from new recipes I try.

Shameless Plug: My Brother co-wrote a book

Since I have spent substantial time on this blog talking about the importance of planning for one's mortality it might be apparent that I value financial literacy.

I am thrilled to share that my brother has turned his talents into helping write a book aimed at helping kids develop financial literacy.  It is aimed at 10-14 year-olds and is from the creators of Biz Kid$ and Bill Nye the Science Guy.

How to Turn $100 into $1,000,000: Earn! Save! Invest comes out April 5th and is available for pre-order at Amazon.com.*

I have pre-ordered my copy and am excited to see it when it comes out next month.


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*Not an affiliate link 

Facing Mortality: Using Tax Time for Estate Planning

It is that time of year again here in the United States. Time to round up my documents and pay my annual income tax to the Internal Revenue Department.

This year my husband and I decided to use a tax preparation service because many things changed in our income/expense stream in 2015 and it seemed like a good use of funds to have a professional help up sort things out.

As a part of using a professional service, I had to be more organized than usual this year. Normally I do the bookkeeping and household budgeting during the year and my husband does the taxes. So our normal document round-up process is very informal. I start gathering documents from banks, employers, and charitable organizations as they come in the mail. When my husband is ready to tackle the taxes, he gives me a list of the other information he needs to finish up and I dig through our (mostly) electronic files and come up with the needed numbers.

This year, since we wanted to try to make the best use of the tax preparers time, I made a checklist of the doucments we turned in and the date we handed them over. It took two tries to get all of the documents together, but now I have a handy list I can use in future tax seasons.

As I was looking at my list, I realized that it could serve a dual purpose. Much of what is in the information gathered for my taxes is also information that should be in my estate planning documents. Data on sources of income, banks, credit unions, investment services, addresses of current employers, retirement savings accounts, mortgage & home equity loans, and information about side or primary businesses are all important for my personal representative to have and to have quickly.

I'm going to sit down with my freshly filed 1040 and supporting documents and my copy of Erik Dewey's: "Big Book of Everything" and take advantage of the work I had to do for the tax man to start filling in the blanks in my estate planning documentation.

Sublime Fear

When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, the skin of his face was shining, and they were afraid to come near him.
(Exodus 34:30)

The Lord is king; let the peoples tremble!
(Psalm 99:1)

But their minds were hardened. Indeed, to this very day, when they hear the reading of the old covenant, that same veil is still there, since only in Christ is it set aside.
(2 Corinthians 3:14)

While he was saying this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were terrified as they entered the cloud.
(Luke 9:34)

The characters in bible experience fear on a regular basis, and frequently the first thing that God or an angel of God says is some variation on: 'fear not'. However, in the readings for this last Sunday after Epiphany this is not the case. Each of the readings touches on a fear of the Almighty that is not set aside. Even in Moses's case, a veil is required before the people can face him without fear.

The psalm calls on God's people to tremble and the gospel shows us disciples doing something that causes God to put the fear of, well, God, into them.

This idea of the experience of God having healthy fear at its heart, put me in mind of an art exhibition I saw in Pennsylvania in 2002. Called "American Sublime:  Landscape Painting in the United States 1820-1880" it was put on by the Tate Britain, London and toured to the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts, Philadelphia. Like many of the best experiences in my life, it was a complete accident that I got to see it.

I was in town to attend a fan convention and found that that was a terrible idea for an introvert. I spent most of the time instead touring the city and walked into the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts on a whim.

What I found there were paintings that overwhelmed my senses. They were on a grand scale-- many large enough to take up entire walls in the museum, all of them trying to convey something about the awesome power of nature.

The images and feelings they invoked in me have stayed with me through the years, not the least because they introduced me to a concept I had felt before, but never had a word for: 'Sublime'. I came away with the idea that something that is sublime and awesome has, at its heart, the power to not only overwhelm the senses, but to provoke fear.

The term 'sublime' descries this imaginative response to immensity or boundlessness, a 'delightful horror' when faced by phenomena of great magnitude, by potential danger or the unknown."
(Wilton and Barringer, 2002, pg 67)

Several times as young person, I had an experience of God that left me trembling in the aftermath. I had no words for this feeling but when I saw the enormous paintings on the wall of the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts I felt that same sense of overwhelming awe, a feeling that I was a very small speck in a very large universe.

The 'cloud [that] came and overshadowed' and left Peter, John, and James terrified matches my idea of the Sublime: something so awe-inspiring, terrible, and mighty in its aspect that it leaves the observer shocked and spent in its wake.

In the readings appointed for this Sunday, I see a God who feels that the disciples needed a reminder of the awesome and terrible nature of God after months hanging out with human-seeming Jesus. This is a moment when God overwhelms the Peter, John, and James and seems to say that a little fear is a good thing now and then

For me, this puzzling moment of fear sets the stage for what is to come. The disciples have been following Jesus, experiencing miracles, and hearing the parables and may have been thinking (as humans tend to) that their life with Jesus would go on indefinitely just as it had been.  But in this moment, God brings them up short and reminds them just how high the stakes are. God comes right out and says: "This is my Son, my Chosen; listen to him!" (Luke 9:35)

This revelation shows me that God is trying to get the disciples to take seriously all that Jesus has been saying about his upcoming suffering, rejection, and death.

Buried in that experience of fear, however, is one of hope. If God, the Almighty is trying to get the disciples to take this seriously by making them quake in their boots; God is also declaring God's unwavering support for Jesus and Jesus's message by making it clear that God expects Peter, James, and John to really listen to Jesus.

As we stand on the cusp of Lent, about to enter the dark times of the persecution and death of Jesus in our liturgical calender, it is a good time to be reminded that God the sublime and awe-inspiring has thrown God's weight fully behind Jesus in this moment.

Acknowledging that there is a very real reason to feel fear is the first step toward the courage to take up the message of Jesus.

As the writer of 2 Corinthians goes on to say:

...but when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another; for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:17-18)

May we all have our fears turned into sublime glory.


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Bible quotes are from the NRSV on Bible Gateway

Wilton, A., Barringer, T. J., Tate Britain (Gallery), Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts., & Minneapolis Institute of Arts. (2002). American sublime: Landscape painting in the United States, 1820-1880. Princeton, N.J: Princeton University Press.

This essay was originally published at The Episcopal Cafe: Speaking to the Soul on February 7, 2016.

Anna, the Last Prophet

As I was doing research on the readings appointed for 2 Feburary I was struck by the role Anna, daughter of Phanuel plays in the presentation. She is the first woman, outside of Mary's family, to see Jesus in his role as redeemer.

In the Eastern Orthodox tradition Anna and Simeon are considered to be the last of the Old Testament prophets. But while Simeon takes Jesus in his arms and speaks to Mary and Joseph, Anna "began to praise God and to speak about the child to all who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem" (Luke 2:38)

In a sense, she is the first evangelist.

She straddles a turning point in history. Like may of her people she has lived her life in anticipation of the arrival of a messiah. Along with Simeon she realizes that the redeemer has come into her life. Unlike Simeon she was not promised that she would live to see this day.

So here we have two elders of the faith, Simeon the righteous and devout and Anna the ever-faithful coming together to welcome the baby Jesus and his parents. Simeon, expressing a private joy and a dire prediction, and Anna calling out to all who would hear about this child and the redemption of Jerusalem.

I wonder Anna's vision for Jesus was. Did she see him as a potential 'modern-day' David? Or was she, as someone who fasted and prayed everyday, aware of the potential Jesus had to become the Redeemer to all people. A messiah whose message would reach out beyond the confines of his original family, temple, and religion. A god-made-flesh whose followers would spread across the globe and carry with them the breaking of the bread and the sharing of the cup that would become the central feast and ritual of the new Christian faith?

She saw his potential, that is all we know.

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 Bible quotes are from the NRSV on Bible Gateway

Mom

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine."" And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come."" His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."  ~John 2:1-5

Supposedly Jesus was around 30 years old when he mouthed off to his mother at the wedding in Cana. Reading the passage from John this week made me laugh out loud-- perhaps the first time I have ever laughed a a bible passage.

The reason for my laughter is Mary's response to Jesus when he basically tells her that he's not going to do anything about the wine situation. Instead of getting into a fight with him about his timing or his recalcitrance she just acts as if he graciously offered to help her by instructing the servants to do what he says.

This is such a universal 'mom' moment. I have a teenager of my own. He has many sterling qualities and is frequently both cheerful and helpful; however, like all parent-teen relationships, ours has had it's ups and downs. There have been times when I told him to do something and he refused. I learned a long time ago that he best thing to do in those situations was to acknowledge the resistance, but expect him to follow my request regardless. Much like Mary in the quote above, I make it clear that I expect him to act on my request.

My son was a December baby, so I have felt kinship with Mary in the past, but this is the first time I really connected to her as a mom who has expectations of her son that may not fit his idea of himself.

Much like the Canaanite Woman in John 15:21-28, Mary, in this moment, is pulling Jesus up short and encouraging him to really think about what he just said to his mother (possibly in front of all of her friends). She doesn't get into a fight with him, she doesn't call him on the carpet, she just pretends that he answered in the way she would expect a polite and dutiful son and guest to do.

In the chronology of John, Jesus already has some disciples and might be feeling much like a youngster out on his own for the first time-- unshakable in his certainty and disdainful of his elders' life experience. I still remember that feeling of 'knowingness' that carried me through my early twenties. Sometimes I even miss it. However, I also remember when my lack of life experience would prove that my parents still had a thing or two to teach me.

In this brief moment, we see Jesus choosing to respect his mother's request. We see him realize that, while he may be God-made-man he still has to answer to his mother for his behavior in certain circumstances. We also see the beginning of a pattern where, when he is called out on his grand proclamations, he is willing to stop, think, and even reconsider his words and deeds in the light of another person's experience.

This is a side of Jesus that I don't think can be stressed enough. Even though he is the Son of God incarnate he is not immune from the errors of mortals. He is sometimes arrogant, definitely a know-it-all, and prone to believing he is always correct. These two, very different, women both stand and remind him that just because he is the Son of God doesn't mean he has all the answers.

In these times of turmoil in both the world and the church, I don't think it is a bad thing to believe in a God-made-flesh who we can stand up to and argue with. In fact, even in the old testament God has been willing to be argued with and talked out of some of God's plans.

Going back to my own son, when he was little we would ask him if he would like to do "A" or "B" and most of the time he would say "C". His third option was frequently better than the ones his father and I had come up with, so we learned to listen for 'Option C' before making up our mind. Perhaps God is also listening for that third option and we just need to be willing to speak up and maybe even argue a bit.

We would be in good company if we did so.

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 Bible quotes are from the NRSV on Bible Gateway

Named and Claimed

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1

The wise men have been and gone; now the readings lead into the baptism of Jesus and the start of his time as an earthly teacher to those that follow him.

Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”
(Luke 3:21-22)

Jesus is named by the Holy Spirit in this moment. He is clearly called out as the Son in this moment and claimed as the beloved. My first experience with the idea that names have power was through Ursula LeGuin's Earthsea Series. At the time it was a trilogy consisting of "The Wizard of Earthsea," The Tombs of Atuan," and "The Farthest Shore" (she has since expanded the series). In the novels, the fundamental way that magic works is through naming. It starts with the idea of a 'true name,' that is given to a person as they leave childhood behind:

On the day the boy was thirteen years old, a day in the early splendor of autumn while still the bright leaves are on the trees, Ogion returned to the village from his rovings over Gont Mountain, and the ceremony of Passage was held. The witch took from the boy his name Duny, the name his mother had given him as a baby. Nameless and naked he walked into the cold springs of the Ar where it rises among rocks under the high cliffs. As he entered the water clouds crossed the sun’s face and great shadows slid and mingled over the water of the pool about him. He crossed to the far bank, shuddering with cold but walking slow and erect as he should through that icy, living water. As he came to the bank Ogion, waiting, reached out his hand and clasping the boy’s arm whispered to him his true name: Ged. Thus was he given his name by one very wise in the uses of power.

Throughout the series, Ms. LeGuin builds on the idea that the basis of all magic is the knowledge of the true names; and that: "A mage can control only what is near him, what he can name exactly and wholly."

As a youngster, this idea impressed me and encouraged me to see all things as worthy of their own names with secret power that was beyond my understanding. It also dovetailed with my emerging faith. Even then I could see parallels between Ged's naming ceremony and the baptismal rite. The idea that names hold power reaches back at least as far as Genesis, where nearly the first thing we see is God using the power of naming to call the world into being: "God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day." (Genesis 1:5) In the readings coming up for the Feast of St Peter we see Jesus not only name Simon 'Peter' but claims him as the rock and foundation of the church.

And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
Matthew 16:17-19

In both the New Testament and in Ms LeGuin's work the new name is not given by the family. Instead it is given by God or by a person of power. In order to enter into his ministry, Jesus was named as both Son and Beloved by the voice from above. In order to enter into an apprenticeship with a mage, Ged is first named. Ged sheds his childhood name and adopts two new ones-- a 'use name' that is his everyday name and his 'true name' which he is told never to share.

This where the two texts diverge. Ged is reminded that his 'true name' is private and that sharing it will give other mages power over him. Jesus is named as the 'Son' in full view of witnesses and that naming marks the beginning of his ministry. It is only after he is baptized and named that he goes out among the people to preach, draw followers to him, and do miracles.

It is not until he is named that he can claim his place in the world. It is not until he his named that he can claim others as his followers and name them. They in turn, take their new names out into the world to share his word.

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  BibleGateway 

 Le Guin, Ursula K. (2012-09-11). A Wizard of Earthsea (The Earthsea Cycle Series Book 1) (pp. 16-17, 56). Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Kindle Edition.

  Lectionary Page